STUPID QUESTIONS ASKED BY SPECTATORS
It doesn't matter where you're grinding - there's always one imbecile in the audience who will walk up and ask you the stupidest questions. These can either be "Jokes" that you've heard a hundred times before; or questions to which even a bucket of mud would know the answer.
If you've got any good examples, please send them to me so that we can all have a good laugh.
In the meantime, here are a few genuine examples to be going on with:
What do you think you're doing?
Is that your real nose?
Can anybody turn the handle? (this is a euphemism for 'Can I have a go?')
Why don't you put a motor on it?
How do you know when the music's finished?
Does it play real music as well?
What does it do? (usually asked when you're actually playing it)
I'll give you £300 for the lot , including the cart (intending this to be a generous offer)
My mother had one of these - only it had a keyboard on the front, and you had to pump it with your feet.
Can I have a go? (usually from kids who can't even see over the top of the cart)
Have you ever turned the handle backwards?
Did you make it yourself? (even though the German maker's name is inlaid on the front)
Did you get it from a junk shop?
What happens when you stop turning the handle?
Is that you making all that racket?
What does your wife think to you doing this?
What do you want with all this junk?
Where did you learn to play like that?
Where do the sausages come out?
Can I ask you a question?
Oh look, the music is written in braille
Have you got a CD in there?
I can't see the pipes moving
Do the pipes get hot
Can you turn the volume down?
The idea for this page came from Chris Doe, who supplied some of these Stupid Questions.
It's amazing how true-to-life the Stupid Questions on your web site are. I have twice experienced the "What does it do?" question after I have just finished playing - Mr A. from The Wirral.
Please use the superior Emailophone system to send in your Stupid Questions. Don't forget, questions must be genuinely ridiculous to qualify. There is no room for intelligence on this page.