TUNE YOUR ORGAN BY EMAIL
A great new FREE service to my readers
Does your organ sound like this? (listen to background music at this juncture).
"Yes it does - isn't it marvellous?"
Well no it's not actually. It's what we experts call "a bloody racket".
Yes that's right. The organ is OUT OF TUNE.
"Oh I didn't know that. But it doesn't matter does it?"
No it doesn't matter. It just makes you look like an imbecile for playing it in public.
"Oh dear - but what can I do about it?"
There is nothing for it but to TUNE the organ.
"Oh no, I don't understand all that. It's easier to just keep on playing it. Organs sound better when they are out of tune anyway"
What you are saying is not correct. But don't worry. Now you can save yourself a fortune in money and time and trouble by allowing me to tune your organ for you, free of charge, by email.
Yes that's right - and that goes for you too, readers.
Tune your organ the easy way
Let me do all the hard work of sawing the tops off the pipes, and drilling holes in them, while you sit back with your feet up in front of the telly.
To use this service, you must have an email address, and an organ.
This is all you have to do:-
Simply play your test book or roll on the organ, and record the resulting out-of-tune racket in the form of a .TXT file. Do this by using a mobile phone plugged into the back of your computer, and some suitable organ-recording software, or a microprocessor.
When you have recorded the file, send it to me by email by clicking your mouse on the following sentence:
Here is a recording of my organ. Please tune it for me. I understand that the service is free, unless any pipes need repairing or revoicing, in which case I will be pleased to pay through the nose for any corrective work to be carried out - even though it may be unnecessary.
When I receive the .TXT file, I will load it into my word processor, and play it into my sophisticated electronic tuning computer, whereupon I will tune any pipes that are out of tune. I will do this highly skilled work by sticking matchsticks down the tops of the pipes, or making holes in the stoppers with an organ builder's tuning hammer. You will not be expected to understand the complicated nature of this delicate remedial work. I will also give elocution lessons to any pipes that are not speaking properly.
I will notify you by email when I have finished tuning your organ. You will be able to hear the difference straight away as soon as you play the test book or roll again. I will only charge you for any pipes that I have unavoidably destroyed during my highly skilled tuning, voicing and diagnostic activities.
Why wait? Get your organ tuned today for that 'freshly tuned mechanical organ' sound.
You'll wish you had done it last week (or the week before)
It's "GOODBYE" to that "My organ's out of tune" feeling.